“I’ve come to understand that much of our knowledge today does not deal in terms of paradox. We often are not comfortable with conflict and tend to avoid it. We look for “truth” that stands alone and build our lives on it. If there is an apparent conflict, we tend just to ignore it or try to go around it.”
I will never forget the day my young wife came home from work and said the following words… I did this thing called a DISC profile at work today that you have to do! There’s no way you can mess it up!
Let me first say that this comment was the result of a journey I was on. A couple of years in as a married man, I struggled to find a sense of identity. I realized that I didn’t know who I was and wasn’t sure what I would do with my life. This profile held the promise of helping me understand my personality and how I was wired with the hope of finding some clarity! So, with great anticipation, I began answering the questions. They were a bit challenging as I tend to overthink things and see things from multiple perspectives… More on that later,
If you’re unfamiliar with a DISC profile, each letter represents a particular personality style. Most people are a blend of dominant and secondary styles.
I finished the questions and, with a mixture of fear and hope, handed them to my wife. Eagerly, she began to score my profile. It seemed to be taking a while. Going back over my answers and looking at the score sheet again. Finally, she laid it down quietly and said I’m not sure what to say. It didn’t seem to work for you. I can’t score it! There doesn’t seem to be a clear dominant and secondary personality showing up.
It turns out I was two conflicting dominant personalities! Well, that was exciting news to hear! I was already struggling, thinking there was something wrong with me. Nothing like a personality assessment that works for everybody else to tell you what you feared was indeed true!
Some years later, when I was at a conference, I tried again, hoping I had matured enough for it to work. Once again, it told me I had two dominant conflicting personalities. No wonder I dealt with so much paralysis. As soon as I got clarity, I would immediately see a conflicting reason why that would not work or the pitfalls of that reasoning, and I would freeze. It took a while, but eventually, I discovered that this was a gift that was given to me.
I’m not sure who said it, but someone said that the ability to hold two conflicting truths in a harmonizing balance indicates true spiritual growth. I’ve come to understand that much of our knowledge today does not deal in terms of paradox. We often are not comfortable with conflict and tend to avoid it. We look for “truth” that stands alone and build our lives on it. If there is an apparent conflict, we tend just to ignore it or try to go around it.
I have discovered that balancing paradoxical truths holds the greatest keys to growth, fulfillment, and living a meaningful life. Unbeknown to me for so many years was the fact that I am hardwired to see and resolve paradoxes. Often, when I respond to a question asked of me, I will say, “Well, two things,” and I will immediately go on to share two perspectives that came to mind when asked that question.
I share all this for (wait for it…) two reasons… sorry I couldn’t resist!
First, I want to invite you to consider that the things most challenging about your personality are actually gifts intended to enable and empower the living of your destiny.
You are uniquely designed to solve a specific problem in your world. Your being alive is intended to bless humanity and help them on the journey home. Society has created an accepted “model“ of what we should be that does not take into account our uniqueness.
Second, I invite you to explore the power of paradox. What truths have you ignored in your life that are meant to reveal a transforming, balancing truth? At this stage, it is quite possible that nothing comes to mind when you think about what truth you may have ignored because it appeared to be a paradox. We do this out of habit and unconsciously. What I am inviting you to do is to become aware and to pay attention to your life. Next time you encounter something you’re tempted to simply set aside because it may not seem to make sense or is in conflict with something else you believe, I invite you to stay present with it and learn from it until you find the truth that brings balance or harmony. It is there that true growth can occur.
I invite you to join if you haven’t already subscribed to my Substack, The Quest. Much of my writing stems from the paradoxical truths that often live beneath the surface of where humanity lives. These truths offer powerful perspectives, enabling us to truly transform our lives and live the lives we were destined for! Together, we will explore to remember and reclaim who we are, and why we are alive!
Welcome to The Quest!
Love and blessings, Wayne
Ha. Never liked those DiSC or Myers Briggs things. Good story.
Keep rocking truth seeker! Sharing today's walk https://open.spotify.com/episode/32gfqd5BkgMokf9kx7Rf9k?si=Xhxb5bABSfqGDzo1nVw9YQ