Idiots and Authentic Selves

I Could Have Great Relationships with People if it Weren’t for... People!

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Two Stories 

Story one:

The story is told about a monk living in a high mountain town. A young man passing through had stopped at his house, where the monk had put him up in a spirit of hospitality for a few days. He had fed him, provided a bed, and had spoken of spiritual things. Shortly after, the young man left and resumed his journey; a knock was at the monk's door. When he opened the door, the police were standing there with the young man who had just left his home. The police informed the monk that they had found this young man and realized he had stolen his silverware. The monk looked at the young man, then looked back at the police and, without hesitation, said, “Oh, he didn’t steal it; I loaned it to him.”

Story two:

There was an elderly lady who was traveling from the city back to her home in the countryside. She had been in the city to retrieve a rather large sum of money from the bank and take it home. Once seated on the train, she noticed a rough-looking figure watching her. She thought to herself this man surely intends to rob me. When she got off the train, he exited as well, right behind her. She turned to him and said young man, I need your help. She said you see, I have a large sum of money that I’m concerned someone may attempt to rob me. Would you please walk with me and make sure that I arrive safely at home? He agreed. They walked for several miles, talking as they went until they finally arrived at her home. Arriving at her door, the young man looked at her and said, I intended to rob you tonight. But when you asked me to protect you and see you safely home, I found it impossible to carry out my original plan.

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Relationships…

Someone said I could have an amazing relationship with people if it weren’t for the people! Let’s face it: no matter how much we love people, sometimes being in a relationship with them is a stretching experience.

We live in a time when we hear much about our higher self, authentic self, or true self. I myself often write about this. These writings and musings are often from a personal perspective. They are written to help us discover who we truly are and how to show up in this world.

But what about relating to other people who also have a true self? What about relating to people who are living anything but their authentic selves? You know that coworker who gets under your skin because of the constant putting you down so they can get ahead? How about that “idiot” who risks people’s lives passing too many cars on a two-lane highway?  (Enter yesterday's morning drive to our other inn!) Or how about your spouse or partner who never seems to see your needs or who you really are?  Or your child who seems to be able to find and push all of your buttons. What about that political figure, whether in your local town or national level, that represents everything you don’t love?  You fill in the blank. But we all have people in our lives who are, at best, challenging and, at worst, feel like they might drive us crazy.  

Is it possible they have a higher self? Is it possible that they, too, are a product of love on a journey home? Is it possible that they are like you and me, an expression of the divine?  Surely not!

I came across the quote many years ago, which I attempted to find in recent times without success. But what they said, in essence, was that the role of humanity when relating to one another is that of a torchbearer in a dark gold mine.  The gold has always been there. But remains invisible in the dark until the torchbearer brings their light of illumination!  That which has laid dormant and hidden suddenly comes to life and is revealed.  

Once we begin to discover our true identity, once we begin to know our true selves, once we begin to understand that we are a product of love, for love, and by love, the next massive hurdle for us is to begin to discover the same within all people—yes, even the “idiots”  that drive us crazy.

Torch Bearers

What would being a Torch Bearer in a dark world look like? How would our world change if you and I began to shine the light of authentic self into the lives of those around us?  How would our world change when the gold of true identity within them becomes illuminated?

1. The first step in being a Torch Bearer is to understand what it means to be a human.  There are no good or bad people.  Rather, all are created by Divine love for love and by love.  All people experience Earth-born amnesia upon arriving on Earth.  Life's journey is about remembering and reclaiming who we are and why we are alive.  The more one remembers and reclaims life, the more we call them “good,” and the deeper the forgetting, the more we call them “bad or evil.”  In truth, all are children of love.

2. To be a Torch Bearer, one must first find the “Gold of the Divine” within them.  We can not call forth the true nature of others if we have not found ours.  To have a Torch Bearing relationship with others, we must first be very clear about who we are.  Without this knowledge of identity, we will enter a striving relationship attempting to establish our “goodness.”  Of course, because the others are living in the dark, unaware of the “Gold of the Divine” living within them, they, too, are attempting to declare their “goodness,” setting up a power struggle to determine who is the better human!

3. Torch Bearing is not convincing the others they have the “Gold of the Divine” within.  It simply illuminates it so that people can see it for themselves.  Torch Bearing is a lifestyle of living confident in the knowledge of our true selves and recognizing the same is true of others, even if they aren’t aware of it themselves. This means treating and valuing others based on who they are as children of love rather than their unaware actions.  Simply put, “Torch Bearing is Remembering who you are when encountering people who have forgotten who they are”!

I am not an advocate for measuring our spirituality. To measure is to compare, and to compare is to invoke a spirit of competition. To compete is to determine one is better than the other.  But there is wisdom in assessing our progress in our spiritual journey.  So, in that spirit, If you want to know just how awakened and enlightened you are, it is determined by the ability to see the “gold of the divine” within the person you struggle with the most!

Just to be clear those words create a big ouch in my life. I do not write this from the perspective of a professional torchbearer. But I do write from the perspective of becoming aware of a burning and unquenchable desire of the Divine wanting to express through me a calling forth of true identity within everyone who crosses my pathway.

The Monk and the Elderly lady have a lesson here for us.  The lesson is not simply repeating their actions.  I’m not saying that if someone steals your silverware, you should necessarily say, “Oh, they just borrowed it.”  Or if you sense someone is going to rob you, you should invite them to help you arrive home safely. Rather, the lesson here is one of a spiritual principle. In both cases, the monk and the elderly lady understood something about the gold of the divine within everyone, and they acted in a way to illuminate and call it forth. I would propose that that should be the goal of every relationship we are in. We need to recognize and call for the Divine image dwelling within every person in our lives.

Think about how our world would change if, instead of seeing thieves, corrupt politicians, idiot drivers, rude, demanding people, uncaring spouses and partners, or self-centered, mean children, we allowed the light of our true identity to illuminate and reflect their true nature.  

Most of what we dislike in others is often a result of their secret fear that who they are is not good enough.  

Your seeing them for the children of love they are might be the first time someone has seen them for who they truly are.  Never underestimate the power of vision and love. I understand that what I say is very simple but far from easy!  Yet, I believe it is quite possible that this is the only solution to keep humanity from destroying one another.

Here’s to a life of Torch Bearing!  Will you join me?

Love and Blessings, 

Wayne