The Destiny Paradox - A Twist in the Story…
Life Beyond Our Dreams…
“Destiny is about living your dream because of the significance of your identity—not to prove your identity is significant!”
Welcome to my Substack, The Quest! My name is Wayne Stoner, and I live in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. I am so happy and honored to have you here. This is my welcoming post, a little longer than most, where I share my destiny story and what to expect from me.
When you subscribe to The Quest, you’ll become part of a Community of Explorers who embrace life as an adventure to be lived. In the spirit of epic tales, such as Lord of the Rings or Narnia, we view life as a great expedition through the wilderness of our hearts. Guided by a deep knowing that lives within, we seek to re-discover our true selves and the reason we are alive.
I write here at The Quest for people like you who...
know they are meant for something more but are unsure what to do about it.
are living an “ok life” but do not want to settle for "good enough"!
have come to a crisis point in their journey and are looking for guidance and encouragement on where to go from here.
I write not because I have it all figured out but because I figure things out through writing. I invite you into my story, sharing what I am learning and inviting you to do the same. Trusting that together, we can remember and reclaim who we are and why we are alive!
Almost 16 years to the day at the time of this post. March 14, 2008, is a day I shall never forget. It was 7:15 PM in the evening, and just moments before, I had narrowly avoided an accident. I was driving our moving truck towing my car and about to turn into the narrow snowbank line driveway when an impatient driver raced around me. I careened into the driveway in a blinding swirl of snow, ice, and spinning tires as my wife, following in our minivan, watched in horror! To this day, I’m not really quite sure how I avoided hitting him!
As I stood on the side porch, about to enter the big, empty Adirondack farmhouse we had purchased earlier that day, I was struck by the similarities between that near accident and the last several years of my crazy, wild, wonderful, terrifying journey to this point in destiny!
I recalled moments of joy, frustration, and crazy “coincidences” and synchronicities—moments like a Sunday afternoon, sitting in a blue chair in the living room of our little English cottage in southeastern Pennsylvania while sharing with a friend the burning desire of my heart to move to the mountains of New York and create a place where people could come to discover why they were alive.
You see, as a child, I had a dream. For as long as I remember, I said these words. When I grow up, I’m moving to the mountains of New York and building a resort. No one ever set me down and explained how childhood dreams are not meant to be carried into adulthood. That childhood dreams are just that, for our childhood. But let's be honest, you and I live in a world that believes that!
For many years, I felt unlovable. I did not do well in school and assumed I must be dumb. I felt like a mistake. I did what I needed to do to get by. Listening to the voices of others and what they wanted me to be, I gradually left behind my dream and what I loved. I formed a new version of myself that I hoped would be lovable and give me the acceptance I craved. I did what I think a lot of people do. I built a false self.
It worked for a while. I went to college and met a girl who said yes, got the job, started a family, and got the minivan. But as all false selves eventually do, mine failed, and failed epically! As a result, I experienced debilitating emotional, spiritual, and physical burnout. I entered a spiral downward into an all-consuming darkness until it came to a head one hot summer night when I had a powerful encounter with God. (I realize the term God has not been positive for some people. You may call what I think of as God as the Universe, Light, Energy, or Source. I think the best might simply be Love. It matters not to me what word best describes the source of all things to you. What matters to me is that you experience and get to know it!)
All I ever wanted was to be lovable. I wanted to know why I was alive and that my life mattered. After the deep failure of my false self and my encounter with God, I made a decision. I decided to embark on a quest to settle once and for all who I was and why I was alive.
I studied the laws of the Universe from a scientific and a spiritual perspective, developing what I like to think of as a spiritual science. A wonderful mentor came into my life. I rediscovered and embraced the things that I loved. I did a lot of deep soul-searching, reading, and journaling, getting in touch with the parts of myself that I had shut down.
Without realizing it, when I created my false self, I had become a “tin” man, a man without a heart. I had to rely on living from the head and the program that I built that constantly scanned what my world wanted from me.
Now, on a quest to get my heart back, like an explorer bushwhacking his way through a vast wilderness, I journeyed on. Learning to read the trail markers of the forest as I went. There were days that I caught glimpses of the summit through the trees. Vistas that afforded glimpses of the view that awaited! Many days, I could see nothing but the dense forest, wondering if I would ever see the view from the top. But as a distant echo within my soul, I heard the call of destiny, and I was determined and gradually got my heart back!
As my heart reawakened, I began to remember things I used to love that were no longer part of my life: the outdoors, mountains, campfires, country music, lakes and rivers, cowboy boots, and people gathering together to celebrate, to name a few. I became present in life and assimilated it through all five senses. I discovered the portal of beauty and the childlike wonder of being alive.
Then, one day, I remembered my childhood dream. I discovered that my world had not told me the truth about it. It turns out that it did indeed matter and was meant to guide me to why I was alive! Over the next several years, I faced many fears and doubts through unbelievable twists and turns, almost giving up many times. But I persevered until I stood that March night on the porch of what would become the Snow Goose bed-and-breakfast.
Along the journey, I had an epiphany.
I discovered that the most effective way to live a meaningful life of happiness and fulfillment is to remember and reclaim who we are and why we are alive.
Although my journey was messy and anything but linear, I realized I had discovered a trail guide that is hardwired into the very essence of every human. As a result, our entire lives are a series of Trail markers, inviting us to remember and reclaim who we are and the reason we are alive!
Once upon a time, we all knew who we were, where we came from, why we were alive, and where we were going. But that all changed the moment we were born, and we experienced Earth-born amnesia.
Not only did we forget, but our parents, relatives, school teachers, and those who govern us have also forgotten! The entire infrastructure of our world has been crafted by people under amnesia’s spell!
Modern science and ancient spirituality all point to evidence that our true selves are spiritual, eternal beings. In other words, the life of our body or avatar began at birth, but our true self did not; it is of eternity. Some have stated it this way: we are not physical beings having a spiritual experience but spiritual beings having a physical experience. We have chosen to come to this wonderful planet of Earth to learn through the power of experience a more complete understanding of true knowledge. Earth is a school or training center for the next life.
Because destiny is written into the very fiber of humanity, we instinctively know that we are meant for something more. However, because of our amnesia and wrongly interpreting the desire for happiness and meaning, most of us will either settle for a good enough life or spend our entire lives pursuing ever-elusive fulfillment.
Over time, I created a one-sentence summary of this destiny guiding principle! I have come to call this the Destiny Matra. When properly understood, it reveals a path to the life we have come to Earth to live!
"Our hearts naturally desire that which unlocks our unique design, empowers our dreams, and fulfills our destiny.”
In practical, everyday terms, this means that our hearts naturally desire what makes us feel alive inside. Our avatar is uniquely designed to express or participate in those things that awaken aliveness in us. When we solve a problem that we are uniquely crafted to solve by doing what we love, this is called our dream… if you're tracking with me, then you probably already concluded that the natural progression is that living our dream then fulfills our destiny, Right?
Well, yes, kinda, but then again, maybe not!
The pathway of following our desires, designs, and dreams is intended to lead us to both self and destiny realization. We would do well to understand that destiny answers the question of true identity and the reason we are alive.
The paradox of destiny is that unless we discover our true selves in the journey, we will attempt to prove the worth of our false selves through the fulfillment of our dreams.
Destiny is a life in which the paradox of desire, design, and dream are resolved. (If you’re just now finding me, make sure you read my earlier works, the desire paradox, the design paradox, and the dream paradox). Therefore, if you're living your dream but have not yet discovered your true identity, the fullness of destiny still awaits…
Destiny is about living your dream because of the significance of your identity—not to prove your identity is significant!
Does this mean we should put our dreams on hold until we’re sure we’ve reached the magical level of knowing ourselves? Absolutely not! The quest is about a journey of discovery, not sitting on our butts waiting for magic! It is in the journey we discover our true selves. Besides, your world needs your dream now! Although I'm living my dream, I’m still very much on the journey of discovering my true identity!
Looking back, I now realize that, in many ways, my journey was still beginning that night in March. Unbeknownst to me, the financial crisis of 2008 was looming around the corner. There were better times to build a hospitality business, for sure! Every belief and principle that had empowered me to make the move to New York was severely tested. The good news is that they proved to be true. As a result, the Snow Goose Bed & Breakfast, the ADK Trail Inn, and, more recently, our little restaurant, the Monday Tuesday Grill, have blessed thousands!
If you’ve read this far, my story probably resonates with you. You relate to feeling like you’re meant for something more. You may have settled or are being tempted to settle for a good enough life. Maybe you’ve recently had a crisis in your life where your false self experienced a failure. If so, I want you to know I have been where you are! I came so close to settling for “the good enough” life. I believe in you and your dream; I believe in your destiny.
I write as one who has stood on summits of Destiny. I write to dare people to dream, not settle for “the good enough life.” I write to stir up hope in people like you that the journey’s worth it and that life can be more than the endless pursuit of ever-elusive meaning.
If this sounds like what you are searching for, I invite you to subscribe today and join The Quest and this community to discover who you truly are and why you are alive.
Destiny is not just for a lucky few. It is written in the very fiber of humanity. To be human, to be alive, is to have a destiny! No exceptions!
The only question that remains to be answered is whether you and I will recognize its call and answer. I hope you choose destiny! The summits await! I will see you on the trail!
Love and Blessings,
Wayne
Once upon a time, we all knew who we were, where we came from, why we were alive, and where we were going. But that all changed the moment we were born, and we experienced Earth-born amnesia.”
Indeed, we once knew who we were.
A friend a few weeks ago sent me this link of an actor I was unfamiliar with, Terrence Howard.
I was blown away.
He starts with his memory of being in the womb and saying to himself over and over as he emerged, I need to present the pattern of the universe to humanity. He had not done that in his past life and was determined to succeed in this one.
His view that the universe is alive coincides with mine.
And his view on electro-magnetism.
That everything is light 💡.
The first two weeks after his interview he had 10 million views and now has 116,723 Comments.
https://youtu.be/g197xdRZsW0?si=sqg6DDqa1g5ZxerN
A rushed journey is a waste of time; you can see nothing. I am here by the grace of God; I must take advantage of it and examine nature carefully, for I shall never return to these waters again. Instinct tells me to let myself drift with the swift current. Reason stops me; for an explorer, hurrying through an unknown land is like running away from the enemy.
— Jules Crevaux, French Magazine "Le Tour du Monde"