Me a World Changer?

A Tribute to my Mother

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This July marks eight years since my mother passed away. My mother played a very special and important role in my life. At her funeral, I shared a letter I wrote to honor her life. I share it with you today to honor her and encourage each of us on the journey of life. We all are part of a wonderful cosmic story that is very connected. In a great sense, her story is part of our story as well! Thank you for reading!

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Dearest Mom, July 26, 2016

I can’t tell you how much I didn't want this day to come!  I knew it would, but I was hoping for it to be many years in the future.  I had plans and things I wanted to do with you over the next few years.  But here we are, gathered today to celebrate your life, cherish memories, and honor all that you have been to us.  There are so many things on my heart I thought the best way to sort them out would be just to write you this letter. I hope you don’t mind, but I going to read it to all these people as well.  I think they might just like to listen in.

I guess I was a pretty mischievous little guy.  I was always getting into something.  One of my earliest memories is the birthday you and Dad gave me, the firetruck, and Reese's peanut butter cups.  Remember how I took that truck apart and put it right back together again?  Somehow, even at such a young age, you recognized my inquisitiveness and the need to figure things out.  How I loved that truck and I’m still a big fan of peanut butter!  

How about the time I put the wrong size light bulb into Sharon's desk lamp?  That thing blew up right in my hand!  I remember how you cleaned up my blacked hand, telling me never to do that again.  As I grew, so did my desire to figure things out.  I took many of the broken appliances apart and figured out a way to make them work again.  As I got older, you would often ask me to fix things for you.  I always enjoyed the challenge.  But what I really loved was when I heard you bragging to others about how good I was at fixing things!  

Of course, that often got me in trouble as well!  Building things I wasn't supposed to with things I was not to be using, taking brakes off of bikes because they slowed me down, getting into dad’s tools…  and many others!  Later in life, when we told you some of the stuff we did, you were rather horrified and wondered how we had ever survived! Sometimes, I’ve wondered, too. But that creative “take on a challenge” part of me was being developed.  The environment of my childhood was essential for the challenges I would later face in life.

From a very young age, I said that “When I grew up, I was moving to the mountains of NY and building a resort”.  I do not remember you ever once laughing and telling me it was impossible when I showed you my drawings and plans.  What  I do remember is always knowing you would be there for me.  Your love and care were constant.  Do you remember those times in the middle of the night when I would wake up scared from a bad dream, and you would pray with me or rub my legs that were hurting because of growing pains?  Yet, at the time, I had no idea how special it was to have home-cooked meals every day.  To wake up each morning fed a lovingly prepared breakfast, given clean clothes to wear, a packed lunch, to be driven to school, to come home to a house with your mother there to listen to all the craziness of your day.   It’s just what moms do, right?  

But now I’ve lived 50 years!!   Now I’m married, I have kids, and I know that all those things you do happen while you are living your own life.  They don’t come at nice, convenient times.  You yourself might be dealing with your own set of fears while calming those of your child.  Or your back may be breaking, or you have a pounding headache while you soothe their pains.  It’s the daily aspect, the continual being there.  Doing what you did, day in and day out.   It’s true; I didn’t know how special, how loving, how formative it all was as a child, but today, as a man, I do, and I am so grateful!

I remember feeling great love for you as a little guy. Do you recall often, when we had our family devotions, we would kneel to pray, and I would kneel beside you and put my arm around you? I felt so safe with you. As I became a teenager, I felt awkward expressing love, but fortunately, I overcame that in time.

I have many wonderful memories.  One of my favorites was Christmas Eve in my first year of College.  It was late. We had listened to the Christmas story on the radio as in old times; as you know, I’ve always loved Christmas Eve and usually stay up late.  Everyone else had gone to bed for the night, and you and I went downstairs to put stock up the woodstove for the night and got to talking!  We talked over many things. Things I discovered as a result of being in college, childhood things, and I had met Amy and thought she might be the one.   Before we knew it, we had talked for so long that it was early morning.  So we got the turkey ready and put it in the oven before we went to bed!  In years to come, you would mention how special that was to you.  I’m so glad we had that time together.  I will always treasure it.

As I  look back on your life, I see five words that describe it for me. The First is Simplicity.  You didn’t need much to be content.  Your world was, by today's standards, rather small.  You loved home, didn’t need to eat out much, travel much, and weren’t too big on technology. You never had any desire to do the whole computer thing, ect.  You loved your family, friends, and, of course, Dad.  As you know, today’s world is not all that simple.  As we move forward in time, things become more and more complex.  You just kept it simple.

The next word is Giving. As long as I can remember, you have always given. You were always caring for your family, making sure we had what we needed. You would often go without so we could have. I’ll always remember Christmas morning. You always found a way to have a pile of gifts for each of us kids. Birthdays were always made special! You didn’t hesitate to sacrifice for us so we would know we were loved. Day in and day out, you served us.

Loving is the next word.  I grew up knowing your love and that I was loved! What a gift to be able to grow and develop in an atmosphere of love.  You and Dad made it clear that you loved one another and that you loved us.  Later in life, when I would answer the call to move to NY and work on building that resort, my moving so far away was hard for you. You understood and made sure I knew that you were proud of me,  but I’ll never forget the look of love and sadness on your face each time we would leave.  You would always stand by the door waving with tears on your cheeks as we drove away.  My daughter would often say from the back seat, “ She really loves you papa”! Indeed you did! 

You have been Faithful. I think this is an important word. Let me be clear, Mom. I’m not trying to put you on a pedestal of perfection. I know that you would not want that. It’s not that you never had any fears or struggles or that you found it always easy to trust God. It’s that you kept going in spite of them, and you passed that on to your family.

The fifth word is one that I’m pretty sure will surprise you.  I doubt if you ever thought of yourself this way.  But, as you know, I have a great interest in how things work.  I’ve always asked questions and sought to understand the deeper things of this world and universe.  I’ve been on a journey.  I’ve come to see our universe much less as a bunch of disconnected things and much more as a very connected essence flowing from God.  I often would talk to you about these things.  You would smile and say I like to listen to you talk, Wayne. But what does that have to do with today?  With celebrating you?  Celebrating the life you lived, the love you gave, the God you loved.  

Simply this.  I’ve come to realize that our lives are a seed.  A seed sown into the universe, sown into the lives of all those we love.  As any gardener knows, the seed is where all the life really lives.  All that the plant will become is found within that seed.  That seed, when placed in the ground, dies, but what comes from it is abundant life.  Multiplied life.  When I think about you and your life, Mom, I see a life that was simple: giving, loving, and faithful, and one that has changed the world.  

I think I just heard you laugh, but listen to me.  You are a World-changer, Mom!  From the seed of your life, you have three children.  All three of us work in serving others.  Two have service businesses; one serves in ministry.  Through us, you are giving and serving thousands.  Every day, people's lives are touched by your love through us.  All that you are has shaped us into people who deeply value giving.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Each of us has families.  Your grandchildren.  Most of them are still figuring out what they will do with their lives, but they, too, are an extension of you, extending your love to the world.  Then there is each one in this room today because of the way your life touched them and all those who could not be here today.

I share this for several reasons.  First, I desire to honor you, my dear mother.  I am so grateful for your life and impact.  And I really want you to know how much your life has impacted the world.  I also share it because I desire to acknowledge my faith in God.  God put me in a home that would provide the environment essential for my development into a man who could carry out my mission in life.  You played a very important part in that as my mother.  I also share because I think that many people are like you.  They live their lives simply, feeling that what they do is not that important and that it doesn’t make that much of a difference.  Your life is evidence that it’s not true.  I’m convinced that the world is forever changed because you have lived!  It has been made a better place.  

I know I’m doing what I was made to do. Moving to the mountains of NY to run an Inn serving people is all part of God’s plan, and God used you to play a real part in preparing me.  

Being so far away during this last chapter of your life was difficult. I missed you greatly. Even though I was able to come often, I found being so far away at such an important time to be a challenging part of living out my purpose. Yet, I found great comfort and strength in knowing that my doing so was honoring you and fulfilling a part of the reason you lived.  

Just like when a seed dies, it appears to have disappeared but then reappears in new and abundant life, so it is with you.  You still live on through us.  I am honored to be your son and will spend the rest of my days doing my best to live to honor you.  I will miss you greatly, Mom.  I know that in the truest reality, you still live and are with us.  I will take comfort and strength in the days to come, knowing that as I live and carry out my day-to-day life, no matter how simple, as long as I’m giving, loving, and faithful.  I, too, will change my world for the better.  

Your loving and grateful Son,

Wayne